What brought you back to this place?
I knew you’d never learn,
I knew you’d never…
Anything expected of you now,
I knew you’d never learn,
I knew you’d never…
I’d place my bet down now, you’ll be the first one to sell me out.
That’s why you never mentioned my name to them,
Denying us all of the moment.
-from “Wish Resign” by Circa Survive
Every frustration I have with the modern-day Church could be fixed in one terribly easy to say but terribly hard to do step.
Fall in love with God. Not His hands, not His feet, not His elbow- His heart. Who He is.
Christianity isn’t just doing. The doing comes out of the being- being so in love with Him.
I have been in some sort of need. Owing more than I could pay back, having college completely wreck me financially, and refusing to ask for help. But God gave me the means to live on… and comfortably. Not once did I lose my home. I always had a can of beans or other dumpster-dove food to eat.
I had family who knew my need even without me saying it.
But not everyone has family. Not everyone is raised in middle-income homes who have never known true need. I look at Anu and Milu, I look at India, China, Ecuador (the list goes on and on)- I see need. Me? Experience need like they do? Never. My air mattress for nine months on a basement floor would be a castle to those in poverty.
Thank God for my blessings. Thank God for His provision. Thank God that He has given me more than enough so I can care for others as well.
Last week I exchanged a few emails with a fan who’s been living in Cairo the last few years. His stories of violence and unrest in the fight for freedom in Egypt painted very vivid pictures in my mind. It’s hard for me to engage with the stories in the Old Testament about battles and evil kings. I…
… and sometimes I feel so far away from it. I mean, I live my life as best I can, with God’s strength getting me through every day. I’ve always believed that I will be the crazy girl who does crazy things and that I will never grow up. There’s a reason my life is filled with kids and a reason God has called me to do ministry with kids… well, lotsa reasons. The main one is because I’m crazy.
My beautiful Gramma went to be with Jesus in heaven on January 29th. It was one thing I never want to go through again and thanks be to God, will never have to (she was my last living grandparent). Her confirmation verse was this:
2 Corinthians 5:15-“And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.”
It has me all thinking again. Who am I really living for? What am I really doing ministry for? For me, or for the One greater than me for Whom I am merely an audible voice?
Soli deo gloria.
When your car doesn’t start, come back in and take a photo on photobooth. It makes everything better. Dang cold MN winters.
I like taking photos of people in love.
